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Bullying

Sad boyEvery day thousands of children wake up and are afraid to go to school. Not because they haven’t completed their homework, nor are they nervous to take a test, but because they are fearful of bullying.

Bullying has become one of the leading concerns within schools and for law enforcement agencies. Bullying can lead to poor grades, school violence and teen suicide. The Novi Police Department, in partnership with all area schools, is dedicated to providing a safe, vibrant and enjoyable learning environment for all students.

Bullying occurs when a person is picked on repeatedly by an individual or group perceived with more power; either in terms of physical strength or social status. It is the on-going harassment from one peer to another resulting in mental, physical and/or psychological pain. Bullying can be physical or verbal. Boys tend to use more physical elements when bullying and girls tend to be more verbal. Bullying can occur anywhere; on the bus, in the neighborhood, before or after school, in the cafeteria or hallway, or on a computer (Cyber bullying).

Cyber bullying can be defined as the use of technology to degrade, harass or humiliate another person or group of people. Cyber bullying can be done through the internet, text messaging, chat rooms and personal web sites via Facebook and similar online message boards. It is important for parents and guardians to be aware of what their children are doing on the computer and to know who their children are communicating with and what they are saying. Parental awareness is the first step in preventing Cyber bullying.

Bullying can range from hitting, shoving, name-calling, and threats to mocking others. It also can involve extorting money and prized possessions. Some kids bully by shunning others and spreading rumors about them.

Bullies choose their victims for two main reasons – appearance and social status. Bullies pick on the people they think don't fit in, maybe because of how they look, how they act, their race or religion, their size, or their sexual orientation.

Kids bully for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they pick on kids because they need a victim — someone who seems emotionally or physically weaker, or just acts or appears different in some way — to feel more important, popular, or in control. Although some bullies are bigger or stronger than their victims, this is not always the case.

Sometimes kids torment others because that's the way they have been treated. They may think their behavior is normal because they come from backgrounds where everyone regularly gets angry, shouts, or calls names. Some popular TV shows even seem to promote meanness — people are "voted off," shunned, or ridiculed for their appearance or lack of talent.

A bully likes attention and appears confident with high self esteem, when actually they are most likely extremely insecure. They may be physically aggressive, pro-violence, easily angered and impulsive. A bully likes to dominate and have power over people. Bullies are more likely to dislike others, perform poorly academically, instigate fights, and are more prone to be problematic in school.

A recent study showed that boys who are school bullies in grades six through nine had at least one criminal conviction by age 24.

Anyone can be a victim of bullying. As a parent or educator, there are warning signs to look for:

  • Sudden downward change in a child’s school performance
  • A sudden change in friendship groups
  • School absenteeism
  • The loss of school or personal items (more so than normal)
  • Unexplained bruises or torn clothing that occurs during school hours

If you suspect a child is a victim of bullying, it’s important to maintain open lines of communication and contact school officials.

It may be tempting to tell the child to fight back; however, it's important to advise children not to respond to bullying by fighting or bullying back. This improper form of retaliation can quickly escalate into violence, trouble, and someone getting hurt. Instead, it's best to walk away from the situation, hang out with others, and tell an adult.

Encourage children to:

  • Try to always avoid the bully and use the "buddy" system.
  • Control his/her anger – walk away from the presence of a bully.
  • Tell an adult, albeit a parent, teacher or school administrator.
  • Share openly with others. Tell someone you trust, such as a counselor, teacher, parent, or friend.

As responsible parents or guardians, you can lessen the impact of bullying. Encourage children to get together with friends who build their confidence. Help him/her meet playmates by joining clubs or sports programs and find activities which help a child feel confident and strong. Perhaps it's a self-defense class like martial arts, a sports program such as soccer, or an arts activity like dance.

Prevention through education is one of the best ways to deter bullying before it begins. The Novi Police Department has taken a pro active approach to preventing bullying. Our Police Detectives and School Resource Officer have attended anti-bullying training and partnered with area schools to educate students about bullying and how to deal with it as a victim.

Strong partnerships between schools, law enforcement agencies and parents are the key to stopping bullying. Together we must stop the silence and raise awareness for this rapidly growing concern in our society.

For more information or to share a concern on bullying, please contact the Novi Police Department at 248-348-7100.